


in the gold room

by beanierose



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M, it's also like, sorry bout it, super pwp, this is depraved and i have no regrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:41:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22021978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanierose/pseuds/beanierose
Summary: we all remember that one night in boston, when trixie got weirded out and stopped things. but what if she hadn't?
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 36
Kudos: 168





	in the gold room

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stutter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stutter/gifts).



> many thanks to [writ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writworm42), [nad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtzmanns) and [meggie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmymeggs) for looking this over for me, i love you guys! there's a playlist i listened to while i wrote this, which you can find [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6KnpDjcq0IebehMEhId7cA?si=ElpkNegyRF2wBBPldI5mig)
> 
> like most everything i write these days, this one is a gift for [stutter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stutter). i had no idea, at the start of this year, that i was going to meet someone whom i will treasure for the rest of my life. i'd never have had the courage to push myself so far out of my comfort zone if i didn't have you right here in my corner, and it is one of the great honours of my life to be there in yours. i love love love you, happy holidays my darling!

we were in the gold room where everyone  
finally gets what they want, so i said _what do you_  
_want, sweetheart?_ and you said _kiss me_.  
**richard siken, _snow and dirty rain_**

* * *

Katya did not think that things could get much worse, and then Trixie took his pants off.

It’s sticky-warm in Boston, the sort of heat that makes Katya feel lazy and feline and kind of sexy. She’s been _on_ for most of the day, playacting as the perfect hostess. Not for Trixie — it’s never like that with him, never performative — but Courtney is here too. In her fucking embarrassing apartment, with its phlegmatic walls and its myriad textures. She isn’t proud of her home, but she’s curiously proud to have Trixie in it all the same. And Courtney too, sure.

The apartment doesn’t have central air. Of course not, it barely has rooms. When they got back from dinner Trixie had stripped out of his shorts, and he’s been parading around in those grey briefs ever since. Every time Katya looks at him her mouth fills with saliva. She knows he’s caught her at it more than once, but he’s kind enough not to say anything about it. Not in front of Courtney.

The world watched it get late, watched Katya’s thoughts unspool away from her, watched it occur to her for what felt like the first time that Trixie is a _man_. He’s a cotton candy fuckin’ nightmare, even when he isn’t _her_. But when he got out of the Uber earlier, Katya’s stomach lurched like thinking there was an extra step at the top of a staircase, like putting her foot through nothing and falling and falling.

She hasn’t seen him for a while. Well, she’s _seen_ him, obviously. They FaceTime, and Trixie will occasionally text her photographs of a look when she puts together a new one that she’s proud of. It’s been a few months since they’ve been together in person, and she forgot how he smells. Always good, he’s meticulous about it, but beneath his cologne and the sunscreen smell of him there’s something that’s just him. Just Trixie.

Courtney is asleep on the couch in the next room, barely four feet away. Katya watched earlier, chin propped in her hands and her mouth open, as Courtney took a number of pills so staggering it made her almost want to call her sponsor. They never did get an answer about whether Courtney feels any benefit from her apothecary of ayurvedic medicines, but it doesn’t matter. She’s sacked out on her back and snoring daintily.

It’s almost dark, but there’s a line of light beneath the bathroom door that’s just barely spilling out into the room. Trixie’s in there. Katya is doing her best not to listen, but it’s so quiet and still and the air is thick with humidity. Before everybody settled down Trixie arranged the two box fans that Katya has, while she and Courtney swooned and heckled and whistled at him. His cheeks, ears, and neck had pinked with lovely embarrassment and he’d grumbled something about trying to create a crosswind.

When he comes out, Katya is lying on her back on top of her sheets, in just her underwear. It’s too hot for modesty, and anyway, they’re drag queens, Mary. She’s seen Trixie naked more times than she can count, even accidentally broadcast his weener to the entire fucking universe on Periscope that one time. Trixie’s taken off his baseball cap and his sleeveless shirt, and he gets into bed next to Katya in his briefs. Well, _onto_ the bed technically. The thought of the sheets touching her makes Katya feel suddenly sunburned, and not in the good way. All of the rawness without any of the satisfaction.

“Do you need a glass of water or somethin’?” she asks Trixie, because her mama raised her right. And because now that they’re in bed together she wouldn’t say no to an excuse to get back out.

Trixie is laying on his side, scrolling through his phone. Artificial brightness plays across his face, sometimes shifting when he clicks through to a different app. He doesn’t respond right away, and Katya reaches across and prods his shin with her toes.

“Huh? Oh. No. I’m good.”

Katya doesn’t want to just lay here and stare at him, so she rolls onto her back and looks up at the ceiling instead. There’s a stain right over the bed that bloomed when the apartment above overflowed their bathtub, and she looks at it for a very long time. Until Trixie locks his screen and reaches down to put his phone on the floor next to the bed.

She’s been so horny all goddamn day. Whenever she’s with Trixie it’s there, usually something small and timid that lives in the pit of her stomach and makes her laugh extra loud at his jokes and grab on to whatever part of him is closest. Today, though, she’s going nuts over it, can’t think about anything else.

This isn’t their first time sharing a bed. On tour, they’d decompress together after their shows and sometimes one or the other of them would just be too exhausted to trudge down the hallway to their own room and they’d sack out together at three or four in the morning. It _is_ the first time since Trixie started his fitness journey, though. Since he went from being a kinda dorky, corn-fed dumbass to somebody Katya wants to fuck _now_. Like, right now.

When Trixie lays back down from leaning over the side of the bed, Katya’s face is maybe two inches from his. He just barely suppresses a yelp; she watches it jump in his throat. Katya remains stubbornly in Trixie’s space, not touching yet but letting the certainty of it stretch itself out like a third body between their two.

“Uh. Hi?”

“Hi,” Katya says back, and it comes out all small and stupid. She wants him so, so bad. So bad it’s coloured the entire evening warm and rose-gold, so bad it feels like it’s already happening. And like it might never happen. “Tracy. Hello, hi, hello.”

She’s keeping her voice low, mostly for Courtney asleep right on the other side of the wall. But also because she’s noticed how Trixie’s arms and his thighs have erupted in gooseflesh even in the awful thick heat of the apartment.

“We should go to sleep,” Trixie says.

Katya makes a cheerful little noise of agreement right away, but she doesn’t move. She can’t do it, it feels like someone has opened her up and filled her entire body with cement. Like they could peel away all the skin and muscle and be left with a perfect, Katya-shaped cast.

“You know I can’t let you go to sleep without kissing you.”

It isn’t the first time she’s said that to Trixie. Most of the time, it’s how she vents some of her desperate horniness for him. She opens a valve and it all comes rushing out shrill and hot. God, it’s so fucking hot. Usually Trixie will jackhammer out a laugh, or shove on her or, one time, hold a pillow over her face until she’s thrashing beneath him and her dick is half-hard and straining in her underwear.

“Oh wow,” Trixie says. It isn’t _no_ , and something small and winged comes awake in Katya’s chest. “Girl, I know you’re out of practice. I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen your brother. But this isn’t-” Trixie keeps going, right through Katya’s outraged wheezing. “This isn’t good. This is not the one.”

Katya writhes around on top of the sheets like a hooked grub, her legs curling up towards her stomach. “Shut up, shut _up_! You’re so absolutely rotted, oh my god.”

Trixie is grinning at her in the almost-dark. His head looks a little shiny, and Katya wants to touch. She’d like to trace meandering, concentric patterns over his scalp with the pads of her fingertips. She’d like to feel the prickle of his hair, just beginning to grow back. She’d like to be inside of him, would like to curl her fingers around his ears while each thrust shunted him a little further up the bed.

“And yet you’re still trying to fuck me, huh?” Trixie’s face is so close to hers that Katya can feel the cool air of his toothpaste mouth. “I think this is a slight against you and _your_ character, mama. Not mine.”

“That’s not a no.”

Katya wriggles the tiniest bit closer and finally, finally allows herself to touch him. The skin beneath her hands is smooth and tan and warm. She starts at his elbow and traces all the way up towards his shoulder, tucks her fingers inside for a moment to pinch underneath his arm and make him let out a little squeak. Katya lets her careful hands move across Trixie’s chest, and she presses down with her thumb in the hollow of his throat for a second, until he groans and closes his eyes.

He isn’t touching her back, but he’s not stopping her, either. He lays there, still and smooth and calm, as Katya’s hand comes up and settles against the side of his face. She leaves it there, just resting, until his eyes open again. Their faces are so close together that Trixie has one wise, dark eye in the middle of his forehead.

“I want to kiss you so bad, Trix. Please, please let me.”

Instead of answering, Trixie leans in and closes the last of the space between them. This is not their first kiss, not even their tenth kiss, but something is different tonight. Katya’s not joking, not even a little bit, and she thinks that Trixie knows that. She hasn’t been subtle, drooling over him from the moment he arrived, and Trixie is astute. It’s one of the things she loves the best about him.

Katya’s hand is still against Trixie’s cheek and she splays her fingers wide and angles his head where she wants him, opens to him right away. Trixie is licking into her mouth and they’re so close now that the bare, sticky skins of their stomachs are touching. Katya is insane with it, with how badly she wants him. She murmurs his name into his mouth and he makes a noise that sounds like it’s been scraped out of him. It’s awful; she needs it.

This is usually the part where they stop. Trixie gets awkward and starts laughing and they roll over and go to sleep, facing opposite sides. Katya is waiting and waiting for it but it isn’t coming. Trixie is panting, and it’s so good. Katya likes to fuck, but she likes this part too. She could lie right here, just like this, and kiss Trixie until the sky turns morning-pink.

Their kiss gets a little deeper, a little wetter. Katya moans into it, and feels it reverberate through her own jaw and into Trixie’s. Her dick is hard and slick and straining against her underwear. Every brush of cotton against the head of her cock is making her feel unsafe, and when she glances down to see that Trixie has a matching dark, wet spot against the front of his grey briefs she can’t help but let out a small groan.

“ _Fuck_. Fuck, fuck, Trixie.” She gets her knee between Trixie’s thighs. They’re so close to being naked, but Katya feels trussed by her underwear and she can’t stop squirming. Trixie’s hips rock against hers and it sends a punch of pleasure right up into the base of her skull. “Can we- do you want-”

“I don’t know.”

Trixie kisses her again, and she kisses him right back, hot and wet and delicious. Katya tugs on Trixie until he’s draped half over her and she can feel him, the new muscles just below the soft surface of his skin. It feels so fucking good to touch him that it’s making her nuts.

Katya hooks her fingers in the waistband of Trixie’s briefs and tugs them away for just a moment, lets them snap back against the top of his ass again. He whines and drops his head to hide his face against her neck, his mouth open over her pulse. She can feel her heartbeat everywhere. Trixie is rutting against her, rocking his hips restlessly and without rhythm.

“Trix. Can I fuck you?”

“We _can’t_ ,” Trixie says. It would be a wail if he weren’t so fucking considerate, and he still darts a glance over his shoulder like he expects to see Courtney lurking in the doorway. When he turns back to look at Katya he’s smudged and pink and his face is soft around the edges with want.

Katya takes Trixie’s face in both hands and brings him down for another kiss. She’s so fucking turned on, so desperate for Trixie that her ears are ringing. “She’s out cold. It’s fine.”

“No.” Trixie shakes his head a few times and sits up, his legs folded up beneath himself on top of the mattress. “Not- not that.”

There is no hiding what Katya’s done to him, what they’ve done to each other, and his dick is straining in his underwear. Katya wants so much to lean in and get her mouth against it, wants to peel off Trixie’s underwear and see his dick spring free. Wants to feel the weight of it in her skull. She won’t do it. Not while Trixie looks so suddenly small and afraid.

“Talk to me, Tallulah. Tell me.”

Trixie shakes his head, scrapes a rough hand over his face. Katya’s eyes keep darting down to his underwear every couple seconds. She can’t help it. Her mouth fills with saliva every time, she wants to blow him so bad. Or eat his ass, or fuck him. Whatever he wants, anything, anything for Trixie.

“You know I can’t. I can’t do-” Trixie waves a hand vaguely in Katya’s direction and a dumb joke about his limp wrists floats up to the roof of her mouth, but she grits her teeth and lets him speak. “I don’t fuck without feelings. You know that. I can’t do that. Especially- not with you.”

She does know that. She knows that, and it fucking terrifies her, but the thought of not getting to have Trixie is worse. It always seems like it’s going to be okay, they can carry on as friends, and then she sees him again and something in her chest cleaves open.

“Who said there’s no feelings? I got feelings, mama.” Katya fists her hand and rests it over her heart. “Like, at least three of ‘em.”

She doesn’t get the laugh she’s hoping for. Trixie just looks at her and he looks so _sad_. She did this to him, she made him doubt how much she cares about him. How desperately she wants to have him, not just tonight but for as long as he’ll let her.

“I know it’s not like, trade or something. I know we’re friends. I just don’t know how I could keep being friends, after. And it'd make things weird with the show, don't you think?”

Katya sits up and takes one of Trixie’s hands in both of hers. She lifts it to her mouth and kisses his knuckle and he lets her, his whole body limp. Well. Almost his whole body.

"I'd never do the show again. If it meant I could have you." She means it so desperately. The show is great, and it's taking off so quickly, but Katya would choose Trixie over it. She'd choose Trixie over most things.

"I like our show."

“I know, honey. I know you do. I just- I can’t help it. How bad I want you. It’s so much.”

“Don’t do this to me, please,” Trixie says, and his voice comes out all wet. “Don’t make me have to say no to you again. Not again.”

“What if I could promise you? That I’ll try. That we can. . .that we can try to make it work. With us.”

Trixie closes his eyes. “You can’t do that. I _know_ you, Katya. You’d get bored of pounding the same ass over and over, I know you would.”

“Trixie, I want you so much,” she says again, uselessly.

“It’ll pass.”

He sounds so tired and so sad. Katya’s still got his hand in hers but she’s not quite sure what to do with it, now. “It hasn’t so far, Trix. It doesn’t go away. It’s worse and worse each time I see you.”

“Wait, what?” Trixie’s eyes open again and he gets a little crease between his brows that Katya wants to put her teeth to. “It isn’t- how long?”

“That’s a very personal, very private question, Miss Mattel,” Katya says.

Trixie lunges at her and slaps his hand over her mouth, pins her down against the pillow just like that. She knows she could get up if she wanted, but she _likes_ it. Her eyes are wide and she stares up at Trixie, looming over her all rugged and sexy.

“Katya. How long have you wanted me?”

Sweat is collecting in every crease of her body, and she can feel her heartbeat everywhere, all over, like she’s overripe. Like if Trixie just presses down her skin will split open and she will spill out, sticky sweet all over his hands.

Trixie moves his hand away from her mouth so that she can answer but he stays right where he is, and she rocks her hips experimentally against his thigh. “Since we met. I can’t remember what it was like, not wanting you.”

“Oh. I thought you. . I thought this was just because I beefed up.”

“I mean, I am literally going to die if I don’t get to fuck bodybuilder Trixie,” she says, and he rolls his eyes. “But. This is not a new experience. For me.”

Katya reaches down and gets her hand inside of Trixie’s underwear to grab a handful of his ass. He moans and fumbles to kiss her, and it’s clumsy and graceless but so hot, too. She’s kissed Trixie plenty, but not like this. Not with his tongue electric and scalding in her mouth. She’s never been allowed to trap his bottom lip between her teeth and bite down until he moans. They kiss for long, breathless moments and then Trixie breaks away again to stare down at her. She’s got her hand against his ass still and she inches inward experimentally.

“Katya, I do want-” he grits out. Sweat is beginning to bead at her hairline and travel down the side of her face. “I prepped, just now. I may be pretty but I’m not dumb. You’ve been looking at me all day like you’ve been wanting to bend me over the closest hard surface.”

She laughs and lifts her hips until her dick meets his, and they both groan. “I think we both know where the closest hard surface is.”

“I _fucking_ hate you,” Trixie says, and gets her hand inside of Katya’s underwear.

She’s so slick with precum and so hard, and Trixie starts jerking her off right away in long, confident strokes. They’ve seen each other naked, sure, but they’ve never touched like this. Never like this. Katya’s eyes slam closed and she drops her head back against the pillow. She can’t stop thinking about how it’s _Trixie_. Trixie is fucking her right now.

“I don’t just want to do this once or twice,” Katya says slowly, breathing through her nose so she doesn’t come before her underwear are even off. “Not with you. Oh, _fuck_. Trixie.”

Trixie nods very solemnly. “I wanna like, do this. All of it. With you. Let’s make the most of what little time you’ve got left, hmm?”

Trixie speeds up the work of her hand before Katya can get out a retort and she moans instead, long and low and _loud_. She circles her fingers around Trixie’s wrist and tugs until he takes his hand out of her underwear. He lays the flat of his palm against her dick so she can rut against it, through the cotton of her briefs. Katya busies herself peeling Trixie’s underwear down and he kicks them the rest of the way off, reaches over her for the nightstand drawer and the bottle of lube inside.

“This is mine, you fucking cunt,” he says as he passes it to her. She laughs quietly and pops the cap, relishing the shiver that rips through Trixie at the noise. He’s like Pavlov’s slut, but so is she and her dick leaks a little more as she coats three fingers and Trixie watches. “How do you want me?”

Her brain stutters to a halt at that. She’s thought about this so many times, gotten herself off imagining Trixie underneath her or grinding in her lap. Now that it’s actually happening she’s so overwhelmed with choice that she has to close her eyes for a moment, can’t look at Trixie’s round and wise and patient face above her.

“What, um- what do you like? What do you want?”

There’s a silence, and when Katya opens her eyes again Trixie is chewing on his bottom lip. “This is a bad idea, huh? Courtney’s _right there_.”

“Well then you’d better be quiet, hadn’t you honey?” Katya says.

Trixie groans and collapses over her, starts grinding against her again. There’s only the thin cotton of Katya’s underwear between them now but she has to keep them on, afraid that if Trixie even looks at her dick the wrong way it’s all going to be over before they’ve really gotten started.

When Katya first slides a finger inside of Trixie, just one, he makes a noise she hasn’t ever heard from him before and hides his face against her. She kisses the top of his soft, bald head, and that’s somehow more intimate than how she’s fucking him open. He starts rocking his hips back to meet her right away, desperate for it, and she adds another finger. He wants to cry out, she can tell, but instead he bites down on the muscle where Katya’s shoulder meets her neck.

“You like that, honey? That feel good?” He makes a strangled noise that might be agreement. “Tell me.”

Trixie is panting, but he lifts his head to meet her eyes. His have been swallowed by his pupils and in the near-darkness it’s like he’s something unearthly, like she doesn’t know him at all. “Jesus _Christ_. Yes, yeah, it’s good. You’re so good.”

With her free hand, Katya reaches down for Trixie’s cock so that he can fuck into the circle of her fingers. She’s still fucking him and he’s making these tiny whimpering noises right in her ear. One of his knees is planted against the mattress, between Katya’s thighs. She scissors her fingers inside him and he groans and collapses on top of her, trapping her hand so she can’t keep jerking him off.

He doesn’t seem to care all that much. Katya adds a third finger and Trixie gasps. She can feel his dick against her thigh, feel how it twitches when she drags the pads of her fingers over the right place inside of him. Their skins are sweat-slick and sliding together, and Trixie is breathing like he’s drowning.

“You have to fuck me now,” he bites out, and manages to lift his head and look at her. “You have to. Now, please, fuck. Right now.”

“Okay, sweetheart, calm down. I’m gonna fuck you.” She means it to sound patronising, but it just comes out embarrassingly tender and soft. Katya eases her fingers out of him and he whines and rocks his hips back in search of her hand, but she holds it carefully out of reach. “Can you turn over for me honey?”

Trixie flops onto his back immediately and draws his legs up, knees bent and feet planted against the mattress. Precum leaks from Trixie’s dick onto his stomach. Katya lets herself have a moment to kneel between his legs and just look at him. He’s her best friend, he is, and she gets a sudden sick lurch in her stomach thinking about how they might have wrecked everything.

And then Trixie lifts his head off the pillow to frown at her. “If you don’t get the fuck in me, I swear to god I’m gonna fucking murder you.”

Katya reaches across to fish a condom out of the drawer. While she’s here, leaning over Trixie like this, she takes her time licking the precum off his stomach. He’s writhing and moaning beneath her, and when she trails her mouth down and down and licks into him, he curses and slams the flat of his hand against the mattress.

“This okay?” she lifts her head to ask him. His face is all scrunched up like he’s concentrating, and he nods about twenty times until she lowers her mouth to him again.

Katya loves to eat ass, this is a secret to absolutely no one. And, she finds, she loves it best of all with Trixie keening over her head and his hand in her hair. Not tugging, just resting there. Everything is wet and wonderful and Katya is rocking her hips slowly down against the mattress, in time with the thrust of her tongue inside Trixie. When it seems like he really can’t take any more, when he’s sweating and trembling and out of his mind with want, Katya pulls back. She stumbles her way out of her own underwear and rolls the condom on, ignoring Trixie when he reaches out as if to help. If he touches her right now it is absolutely over.

Katya arranges herself against the headboard and Trixie scrapes himself off the mattress and slides a knee across her thighs, settles himself in her lap. Her dick is slick with lube and sliding against the crease of Trixie’s ass as he rises and falls over her.

“Fuck — oh, fuck — oh my god,” Trixie is saying urgently, as he grinds bonelessly over Katya. He’s so desperate it’s like he can’t even lift himself up enough to take her inside. Katya gets her fist around her cock and stills Trixie with her other hand against his thigh.

“You gotta be quiet, Tracy. My cool neighbour Karen is sleeping. And my cool friend Courtney.” She guides herself inside of Trixie as slowly as she can bear to and he almost cries out, his whole face and chest blotchy and red with the effort of not making noise. “Okay?”

Trixie kisses her again and she lets him fuck down onto her cock as slow as he likes, focuses on jerking him off. The bed frame is groaning beneath them and Katya is sure Courtney is awake, she has to be, but fuck, she can’t do anything about that right now. She is _inside of Trixie_. Trixie is rolling his hips in tight little circles over her dick, barely lifting up at all, and he’s kissing her and kissing her still.

“Katya, oh, oh my god, oh fuck,” he breaks away to whisper. His voice is frantic, and she gentles him as best she can with soft kisses and the steady, slow work of her hand over his dick. “It’s so- you feel so good inside me. It’s so good. Fuck. Why’d we wait so long to do this?”

It seems like the most important thing in the world, to make him understand. Katya takes Trixie’s face in her hands and leans in until their noses are almost touching. He’s still fucking himself onto her dick, and he speeds up a little bit.

“It wouldn’t have been like this, Trix. It wouldn’t have-” Trixie clenches around her and Katya lets out a long, stuttering breath. “It’s so good because I love you. I _love_ you.”

She keeps saying it, while she jerks Trixie off and his hand joins hers, both of them working over his cock together. She says it when Trixie asks her to fuck him properly and she drives up into him as hard as she dares in the middle-of-the-night silence. And when he says it back, when he says _Katya, I love you too_ , and then he kisses her, her hips snap wildly up against him and she comes.

Trixie’s eyes are wide and sweat is beading across his smooth chest. He comes between their bodies, against Katya’s stomach and his own, and she kisses him through it. He stays where he is for a little while, collapsed on top of Katya’s chest, and she leaves little kisses everywhere that she can reach.

When he eventually eases off her, he rolls onto his back and sprawls there like he’s been dropped from a great height. Katya has that same, swooping feeling in the pit of her stomach. In the bathroom, Katya disposes of the condom and wets a facecloth, cleans Trixie’s come off her stomach. She comes back to the bed and cleans him off as well, giggling softly when he squirms under the not-quite-warm touch.

Katya braces herself for it to be awkward, but it isn’t at all. Trixie is sleepy and sweet, and he cuddles in close to her when she lays down next to him. It never even occurred to her that she might like this part, but she does. She likes Trixie, his body warm and solid tucked in against hers. She likes the way that he smells, and how her whole body feels pleasantly exhausted.

In the morning, they’re going to have to try to look Courtney in the eye. In the morning, she and Trixie leave for PTown, and Katya stays here. She’s thinking more and more about moving to Los Angeles, and she wonders what Trixie might think about that, but he’s already asleep. And it’s so easy, to let herself fall in after him.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/reallybeanie) and/or [tumblr](https://katiehoughton.tumblr.com/)! i'd love to hear what you thought ♡


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